The dark night of the soul is a season in the Christian’s life brought about by God to deepen and purify us spiritually. It’s a painful season where we question our entire reality and wonder if it will ever end. If you are wondering how to survive the dark night of the soul, read on.
How Long is the Dark Night of the Soul?
The cry of our hearts when enduring fiery trials is “how long, O’ Lord?” It can feel like we may not survive at all, and the day can’t come soon enough. When I was in the dark night of physical exhaustion, then grieving the death of my father to aggressive brain cancer while at the same time dealing with unhealed trauma and unimaginable chronic nerve pain, there were days I felt like I was never going to make it through.
Every day I cried, wanting the pain to end. Every day I hoped it would. Yet, it was 2 years from the time I quit working to heal the exhaustion to the nerve pain lessening enough to allow me to resume a somewhat normal life. I am not yet completely out of pain, but I do feel the night is ending.
I don’t know how long it will be for your dark night of the soul. But I know that the time won’t be wasted.
St. John of the Cross wrote that the length of a dark night of the soul varies due to many factors including the exact work God is doing in you and your cooperation with him. Be comforted knowing that God will himself bring you times of refreshing and in the end, he will restore you.
3 Tips for Surviving the Dark Night of the Soul
Be Reassured
My very first tip to survive this season is to feel assured that the dark night of the soul, while it doesn’t feel good in the moment, is normal and leads to mature faith and deeper relationship with God. God usually takes us through this season to other and better things, so cultivate expectation for what God is doing during this time.
Be compassionate with yourself
People will tell you to just read your Bible, pray, worship, and go to church. Those are all great recommendations that I agree with – if you can.
I found the first three things felt dry and empty, and I was unable to attend church physically for nearly a year. Rather than beat myself up, I simply told God the truth: I didn’t have the energy or the appetite for those things. I asked him to restore my love for the Word and for real prayer. Most often I just said “help me.” When I returned to reading the Bible, I wanted it to be with a heart of eagerness, not of religious duty. I know that pleased God, which comforted me in a season when doing all the right things felt beyond me. Rather than earning his displeasure, I learned that God valued my being with him more than my doing for him.
Attune to God in the moment
Ask God to give you spiritual ears to hear and eyes to see. Then look for God’s movement in your life in unexpected and new ways. He’s there, but it may be outside your normal experience.
Remember, God is on the move in your life, whether you can see or feel that now. I know that I couldn’t grasp that in the beginning days of my dark night. I just felt utterly confused and alone. When God began to peel back the layers of what he was trying to work out in me, it didn’t always look like what I thought it should. He used the chronic pain to lead me outside of my comfort zone to explore topics I would never have considered before. That felt scary at first, but I soon realized that God and I were on a journey together to an unseen destination and I was along for the ride, not the captain of the ship. This was essential for me to learn to rest and truly trust him.
The dark night of the soul is both a terrifying experience and a healing one. No one knows what God will use in our life to usher it in. Only God knows how long it will last. But we do know and can have utter confidence in God during our dark night of the soul that he is in control, he is good, and he is always and forever acting in love toward us (no matter what it looks like!).
References:
“Poem: The Dark Night of the Soul,” John of the Cross
The Night is Normal, Alicia Britt Chole
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